87 | How Asynchronous Saved My Sanity (and My Business Rhythm)

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What if the key to deeper connection isn't more availability, but better alignment? 

For years, the back-to-back calendar grind felt like the cost of doing business. Then motherhood rewrote everything. Suddenly, living by someone else's clock wasn't just exhausting, it was impossible.

That's when asynchronous communication became more than a workaround. It became a revelation – a way to show up fully present without the performance. To build intimacy without urgency. To finally create a business rhythm that breathes with you instead of demanding you keep up.

In this episode...

🌊 Why asynchronous communication isn't about being less present, it's about being more aligned with your natural rhythm and showing up when your energy is fullest

🐌 How slowing down the pace of connection actually deepens the quality of every conversation you have, creating space for integration instead of information overload

📡 The specific features that make me obsessed with Telegram, and you should be too

⚡️ Why the Aquarian age is calling us to build businesses around energetic freedom, not just time freedom – and what that shift makes possible

🌬️ How to stop combining urgency with intimacy and start creating containers where presence can actually breathe

This episode is for you if you're craving a business model that honors your cycles, respects your energy, and lets you move at the speed of resonance instead of the speed of hustle. Because freedom isn't just about having more time. It's about having the space to be fully you when you show up.

🎙️ Brought to you by Lauren Poppins Raye

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Connect with Lauren on Instagram: @laurenpoppinsraye

Transcript

0:58

I used to live by others' clocks, back to back calls and calendar blocks. Presence performed on borrowed time. Connection, rushed, rehearsed, confined. Then motherhood rewrote the pace and suddenly flow reclaimed its space. What started as a need became design, a rhythm that finally felt like mine. Now I move when my energy's free, not chained to time, just tuned to me. No more juggling rooms and rings, just quiet threads and thoughtful things. Telegram became my favorite lane, where depth returns again and again. Messages breathe, replies can wait, connection blooms at its own rate. This is the rhythm of the age we're in, Aquarium freedom flow within. So let's talk about what that gave, the sanity, the rhythm, and the space I craved. Freedom has layers and is a huge value of mine as an Aquarian human, my sun signs in Aquarius and when it comes to freedom, we're not just talking about time freedom or financial freedom, the typical buzz words that accompany the word, we're also talking about energetic freedom, the freedom to flow how you're built to move in alignment with your cycles. To be able to speak when the words feel ready to come out and to listen when presence is really potent. And to most importantly, as an entrepreneur, be able to build a business around that energetic freedom that breathes with you instead of boxing you in and feeling like just another job telling you what to do. In this episode, I'm sharing how asynchronous communication became one of the most powerful shifts I've ever made as a mama, as a mentor, and as a manifester of my own rhythm, and why Telegram specifically has become my favorite tool for it. Not just for the features, but for the feeling, for the spaciousness, the sovereignty that it creates and makes possible as my primary platform of availability. In this episode, we'll explore what asynchronous actually means and why it's the opposite of disconnect. How slowing down can deepen the quality of every connection you have. Why I choose systems that respect the time, energy, and autonomy of me and the people I work with, and how that has changed everything. The specific features that make Telegram feel like a sanctuary instead of another screen space, and how asynchronous flow aligns with the Aquarian age that we are all creating inside of and why freedom is the new form of success. First, let's talk about what asynchronous actually means. If you've heard this term and weren't sure, or if you know technically what it means, I want to expand your understanding and the conversation around what it makes possible. Firstly, have you heard this word asynchronous? It's kind of a mouthful. It definitely sounds technical. So let's demystify what it's got to do with freedom. Simply put, asynchronous just means communication that doesn't require everyone to show up at the same time to have it. This is the opposite of synchronous, which is like Zoom or Google Meet sessions, telephone calls, live sessions of any kind where we actually both have to put it on our calendars at the same time, and it's all built around mutual and matched availability instead of, with asynchronous, mutual presence. It doesn't mean that just because we scheduled something at the same time that when that moment arrives, we're both just as present to show up for each other. With that, I want to offer the reframe that asynchronous isn't less present or more absent than synchronous. It's actually more about alignment and how much more aligned we can be with each other and present with each other because of our ability to come in and out as makes sense for us as the moment moves. It honors our natural rhythms, which may be different despite our best intentions to lock in a calendar slot that lines up. This means that we can feel into and choose the moments when we do show up for asynchronous containers around the times when our energy is the fullest, our attention is the deepest, and our words can be the most authentic. We're not being forced to show up so our expression can be more in the moment, more aligned, more authentic. We're coming from a more present place. So what comes from us is going to be more of us. It creates a space for connection that can breathe instead of feeling forced or demanded based on a previous commitment that we made on our calendar. Technically speaking, we're not just talking about text. Oftentimes, asynchronous is voice notes or what I like to call voiceys. Which is honestly my favorite way to relate, especially when it comes to the client mentor dynamic. I've had clients describe the voiceys that I leave them, in our asynchronous containers, as like their personal podcasts where each day they get an audio drop that they can tune into while they're doing other things, which is nice. And of course, because it's prerecorded, you can speed it up or slow it down to your preference, which I'm also a huge fan of. Before I go down the road of geeking out on my love affair for asynchronous spaces, I want to share a personal story around what got me to choose this as the almost exclusive space for my client relations. The short of it is that it happened because I became a mama. So prior to having my son, I had a tax practice where during tax season I was so available to my clients and a lot of it was synchronous communications. Me making phone calls on the fly, them making phone calls on the fly, us scheduling phone calls to go over their tax return at the end, and it was like my calendar would get so full and then I would be squeezing in these communications in between, hoping that they were going to answer, or honestly being a little annoyed when they called me when I was in a different flow. So I was mostly synchronous before this shift. Of course, I also did text and emails, but a lot of the most important and most present communications happened synchronously. Then I had my son and I had what would be my final tax season in the first season of his life and mine as a mama, and oh my goodness, did that clash? If you haven't yet brought life into this world, you may not know in those early months what happened to your relationship with time. For me and for us, we were basically operating on these three cycles of two hours that were not lined up with each other. Every two hours I was nursing him. Every two hours we were doing diaper changes, and every two hours I was facilitating his nap time. This is when and why I shifted to asynchronous communication exclusively for that tax season. I got on Voxer, which was the one that I experimented with at the time, and was only available asynchronous because there was no way that I could lock down anything on my calendar. Because I couldn't commit to a time, I had no idea when I would actually be available, and those available times were little pockets in between everything else, so I just needed to be able to dip in and dip out as it fit with my flow. Oh my goodness, I remember thinking and feeling like, good God, why didn't I do this sooner? Like why did it take this for me to make this change? Because all of a sudden I just felt liberated. I felt so free. There's so many aspects about entrepreneurship that feel like freedom to me, but that one did not. And it was like the one thing that needed to shift that I didn't even know this other way would resolve so fully to feel fully free as a business owner. My calendar stopped being in charge. Now granted it was because this little human's calendar, inner clock, biological clock, became my primary timekeeper instead. But that said, everything just started to make more sense. And even better for the part of me that wondered if this was going to have some kind of detriment on my communications or my client relationships, I actually found that it deepened them. Because like I already touched on, I was able to be so present when I was showing up to talk to my clients. I wasn't juggling appointments and rushing from one to the next where they didn't know, but just before sitting down, I had just run around like a crazy person getting prepared for that conversation. Instead, I was able to feel genuinely ready and present for each communication that I made. That means that every communication was coming from a space of clarity, not urgency. Which honestly, in the previous season of synchronous communication, it was as if I was trying to fake presence in the constant state of urgency because even if I didn't have back to back meetings, I was still scrambling in the moments before to show up on time for an appointment, it always feels forced to have to show up for timed meetings. I want to circle and connect back to what I started this conversation with you around today, which is this wider theme of freedom as my core Aquarian value. And again, not just time freedom, which is on the surface what this created for me, but also the energetic and emotional freedom below the surface that it made possible too. What I realized is in the urgent hustle and bustle of tax season appointment setting, it wasn't actually that I needed more time, it was that I craved being able to move at my own pace. With that, I want to slow down and tell you a little bit more about the energetic beauty of asynchronous spaces. If this isn't something that you've experienced or if you have, not something that you've really settled into and embraced to experience the depth and beauty of them and what's possible inside of them. When two people come to a space able to show up when we can both be fully there, even if it's not at the same time, the energy of the space is so much cleaner. Like I said, I'm not showing up pretending that I'm a hundred percent present when I was actually just running around scrambling to get all my ducks in a row to be able to show up for the conversation. Everyone engages when they're resourced, right? I can't tell you how many times I had to sacrifice certain things, like making the mental checklist of okay, I need to do this, this, and this before I sit down. Shit, I don't have time. Okay? No time to, to make my drink first, right? Whatever it is, not being able to, in a chill way, make sure that all my needs are met and I'm fully resourced and overflowing to show up and give to that container. The other really cool thing that deepens the connection, maybe this is especially because of my line of work, because I am a money mentor and astrologer where so much of what gets transmitted needs time to feel into, to think about, to integrate. The times that I would do an hour long or 90 minute astrology session, it just felt like a fire hose of information and maybe they would catch a couple gems to take with them. When it comes to the money stuff, a lot of times I'm presencing things that are connected to a lot of different things and it takes time to really be able to feel into that topic and be able to get the most out of it and make sure nothing gets missed. In any case, another one of my favorite things about asynchronous spaces is that the conversation lives on. We can go back and revisit and re-listen to any voice notes. With Telegram you can also within the app transcribe it if you want to just go scan over something to find something that you're looking for. Again, through that revisiting, you're able to reflect and integrate so much more than you could in a synchronous session where you're either trying to hold onto and remember what feels important or you're actually taking yourself out of the moment to take notes to make sure that you do, which has been my experience oftentimes. Or you have to go back and listen to a full recording to find what you want to go back to and revisit, if the session was even recorded. One of my favorite things about voiceys is you can listen to it once and just receive, and then you can go back and listen to it again, maybe sped up, to pull out the notes that are important and take a moment to divert your attention to a typed screen or pen or paper to do that. And of course, as I already mentioned, it respects our cycles, right, our natural flows. Whether that is our lunar cycle and times that we're feeling more or less energetically present. Whether that's our hormonal cycle, whether that's our creative cycle, whether that's our health cycle. If you're feeling sick, if you're moony, whatever it is, if you need to step away, you can, and you don't have to feel guilty or like you have to go reschedule everything. I am a fan of anything that respects, supports, and aligns with our cycle, instead of bulldozing or overpowering it, and making us have to disassociate from ourself to be able to show up for something. This is big because we're in the age of Aquarius now, which doesn't just mean that freedom super matters, it also means that authenticity does. We are not able to be our authentic selves when our nervous system is in a constant state of activation. This is actually a very nervous system regulating shift too, where we don't have to combine urgency with intimacy anymore. We can experience the intimacy of connection and communication without that urgency. Honestly, asynchronous is the permission slip the collective doesn't even know it needs for those that haven't embraced it yet. Especially for those of us that are wired for depth, not speed. Now that said, of course nothing's black and white. For some people the depth happens in the synchronous containers and more power to you. But for anyone that's feeling what I'm putting down right now that is more like me, I want to illuminate this possibility for you that you can actually have the depth with your communications and with yourself that you're craving and that feels missing by switching to asynchronous containers. I know that there is somebody listening right now, maybe it's you, that needed exactly this permission slip today. Speaking of today, if you are listening to this the day that this episode aired, we are kicking off the first Cosmic Money Reset Autumn Edition. This is a ritual reset that will be happening seasonally to reset your relationship with money. It's a free five day experience where each day we are guided by that day's planetary energy to reset one part of our financial foundation. I'm telling you this right now, not to plug or promote it because you already missed the boat on this one. Once we started, the doors closed, but I do want to tell you that this is a different use case than I've done in the past for asynchronous. Until this challenge, I've just done one-to-one containers, one-to-one asynchronous on Telegram, which I absolutely love and so do my clients. This challenge was and is my first of a group container, and oh my goodness, I am loving it just as much. Spoiler, it's actually being nested inside of what is going to be an ongoing community, and I'm going to have more to share about what's happening in there. But I wanted to let you know that if you are interested in making sure that you don't miss out on the next reset happening for the winter season in January, you can go and get on the wait list at cosmicb.link/challenge, and I highly suggest you do. Oh my goodness, is this the thing? It is just already kicking off with so much buzz. Obviously I'll have more to share about it later when we're on the other side of this first one, but I just wanted to ground what I'm talking about into my experience of it right now that just continues to get better and better the deeper I go with it and the more opportunities I find to embrace it. Again, that link is cosmicb.link/challenge to get on the wait list for the coming January Cosmic Money Reset. It's five days of gentle recalibration designed to meet your rhythm, not rush it. With that, let me tell you why I love Telegram. Let me count the ways. For me, Telegram is just second to none for asynchronous containers. I'm going to nerd out for a minute and tell you why, and I'm going to break it into certain values that are really important to me to illustrate how Telegram aligns with them. The first is organization. Y'all know I'm a Virgo Moon, I like to keep things organized and the way that I'm able to through topics, which are like rooms in a group space, or a one-to-one thread, but to organize the conversations into various threads I absolutely love and folders within my own app to be able to organize all of the different kinds of conversations. Of course, I organize them with emojis, so I have a folder and they're all just across the top. Super easy to swipe through. I've got one for my team. I've got one for my business besties. I've got one for my Cosmic Currency clients and our one-to-one containers. And the list goes on. But I'm able to keep things really organized so that I can be intentional with almost batching the communications that I'm doing. I'll go in and address my team that's in one space, and then I'll go in and talk to my Cosmic Currency students, reply to their questions. That's in another space. Next up is accessibility, I mentioned this a little bit already. The voice notes feature is awesome. We're able to speed up, or slow down how we listen to each other and we're able to, in the app, transcribe every communication. Which is super helpful to be able to listen or read whatever works best for you or whatever makes sense in the moment with what you're trying to do. Or with how available you are if you want to listen while you do something else, or if you'd rather tune in and read something. Also, of course, being able to transcribe voiceys means being able to put things into AI like Chat GBT or Claude, which that is a topic for another time, what that makes possible. Flexibility I mentioned as well. Messages can wait, nothing disappears. Everything is there waiting for you to engage when you can. Privacy, I love that Telegram is username based. We don't have to share phone numbers to connect like in WhatsApp or Signal. That we can create private groups like I've done for this challenge that we started today. That it is non Meta and there are no ads or data mining as part of it. A little further on in this episode, I am going to address some concerns around privacy and safety, but I wanted to just lead with that, that for the things that matter for me, Telegram has got it going on. Next up is scalability. You can do private one-to-one chats in there. You can do small private circles, or you can do big channel communities. All of those are possible so it can meet almost every need for container that you might have in your business. Aesthetics. I love how it's organized. I love that it has dark mode. I love that we can pick animated emojis for things. Honestly, it feels more like a creative studio to me than a feed. And automation. Once you go down the rabbit hole of automations, which you know I have and do with Make, you can create your own Telegram bot if you haven't worked with me yet in that space then you haven't met mine. Her name is Cosmic Biz Bot. She is gorgeous, she is efficient, and she is super on brand and she is able to, through my make automations in Telegram, handle a lot of the repetitive heavy lifting of delivery, of anyways, again, topic for another time. There's so much you can do with automation inside Telegram. There's totally more I could say, but I'm going to call it there and just end my love gush letter for Telegram with that it truly creates the space that me and my clients can go so deeply into. I'm able to, for example, in my Cosmic Currency one-on-one containers, they're actually three-way groups between me and the client and my Cosmic Biz Bot, I'm able to do a combination of her delivering the daily or weekly material right on time and me coming in to answer questions, to deepen the conversation and to take it from there. It has honestly just created the space for such deeper conversations to take our time and be able to integrate the things. Oftentimes I'll go in and give a listen, feel into it for a little bit and circle back with my response. We're able to be so much more intentional with our exchanges. Okay, I said that I would address some concerns that occasionally get brought to me with using the space of Telegram and I want to just briefly parse out facts from fear here. Some people do worry about Telegram being unsafe. It is kind of in a league of its own relative to some of the Meta platform versions and alternatives. I just want to clarify that despite what you may have heard, because I have seen some articles come through that seem more like fearmongering than fact, but the app itself is safe when downloaded from official sources. And to remember that scams happen on all platforms. So a lot of what I've seen is zeroing in on what scams happen on Telegram and what ones are easier to happen on Telegram for scammers. But again, different versions for different platforms as they fit better, but scams happen everywhere. The key, no matter what, being in the online space, is to use these tools and platforms smart, with caution. Two factor authentication. Never clicking on a link that is unfamiliar or you don't know who sent it. Just using discernment and judgment, right? Because you do have to consent to and fall prey to a scam for it to be a threat. And to remember not to share sensitive information on any online platform, Telegram included. Their privacy is good enough for the containers that I hold because we don't share sensitive information there where that could be problematic. So basically Telegram, like any platform like it is as safe as your discernment. If you have yet to use it because you've been afraid of it, I want to honor your boundaries and your preferences and also crack open a door for you of considering that the way you use the tool and the platform has a lot to do with the risk that it might be. My hope is that ultimately you make informed, aligned choices, not fear-based ones, whether or not you decide to join me in one of my Telegram spaces. Let's zoom back out again because ultimately this isn't just about Telegram, even though that is my platform of choice. It's about choosing tools and rhythms that reflect our values, our availability, what matters to us, and ultimately the person that we're becoming. That's the case, whether we're talking micro, the seasons and your own personal growth and development, or macro as we are deepening into the Aquarian age. This is the era of decentralized connection and sovereign flow. Where freedom, innovation, and individuality are at the forefront of the new infrastructure that we are building in the online space. I want you to remember, you don't need permission to move at your own pace. What we all need are systems that make it possible for us all to feel free to do so. You know that this principle is infused in everything I do. It's why we consider your astrology chart to make sure that any process or system or structure you create inside of your business is specifically tailored to your unique design. We're talking structures that support your soul, not suppress it. Today's conversation, we're talking about applying this to your calendar as well. As I see it, this is the real currency of this new age. We're talking about time, trust, and the freedom to move how we're made to move. Because until now we've mostly been taught to equate speed with success and fitting yourself into somebody else's box with being able to make it in the business world. That's why in Cosmic Currency, I support my clients to craft a money structure, sphere, flow for themselves to operate inside of that actually works for them and breaks out of the mould of whatever we've been taught, that is not one size fits all. Ultimately the business of belonging moves at the speed of resonance, whatever that means for you in the moment. Asynchronous taught me that being in sync isn't about rigid timing. It's about being honest with ourselves and being able to flow with our own rhythm. And that we don't have to chase presence because when we do, it's not really the thing. We can create it and when we do, it becomes so much deeper of a version of the thing. So here's to building businesses, communities, and lives that breathe with us, that are spacious, that are steady, and ultimately that are sovereign. If this conversation resonates with you, I would love for you to reach out to continue it with me. You can find me on Instagram at Lauren Poppins Ray and come into my DM's and leave me a voicey. Asynchronous is available there as well, and I would love to get into that space with you.